Hi FM
We originally approached the people upstairs about a month after they had moved in as initially we thought it was just moving in noises and thought it was only fair to give them a chance to settle. After a month, the noise was getting worse, not better, so I decided to go upstairs and have a quiet chat.
Initially he was very apologetic and said that they'd try to make less noise but nothing changed. The main problem that we were having was that we were being woken consistently between 4.30 and 5.30 every day with stomping around and slamming of doors (we both actually started to wear earplugs, so it's not like we hadn't tried to be more accomodating ourselves). A few weeks later during one of their daytime weekend Karaoke parties, which were so loud that we couldn't hear our own TV above it, my husband thought that he would go up and have a word. He spent ages knocking on the door until eventually they turned it down and came to the door, the first thing they said was 'look you can hear it's not that loud' to which my husband replied, 'you've just turned it down'. I had also heard the volume go down, but this man denied that he had and was much more agressive than the one I had spoken to (there are 3 adults, 2 men and a woman). When my husband said to him that he was waking us up every morning, his respose was, 'well I have to get up and be out at 6'. He did agree however that he would try and be quieter, and for 2 weeks they were a little quieter.
However after those 2 weeks it began to escalate again, and it was clear that speaking to them only had limited effect, so we spoke to our flat's director who advised us that it was best if he put in a complaint on our behalf with the managing agents. The letter went out to them and their landlord in december and so far they have taken no notice, only written a letter denying that they make noise, we then wrote to the managing agents again, who said that we needed to get witnesses to the noise, so everytime we have heard it, we have called the director who have acted as witnesses for us. the directors have lived in the block for 13 years since it was first built and have never heard anything like it before! I would also like to add that in other ways the people above have got a 'couldn't care less attitude'. They dumped a car in one of the visitors spaces, it then didn't move for 3 months until the tax disc ran out. Whenever they have visitors, they nearly always park in other peoples allocated parking spaces and there is no apology, just a surly shrug of the shoulders if anyone dares ask them to move. I do wonder if it is clash of cultures, as they are fairly recent immigrants and I know that the country they have come from has a more 'vibrant' culture than Britain.
With regards to the people below, they moved in 7 weeks ago and we had initially hoped that the noise was again just moving in noise. However, the noise again was getting worse not better, initially we called the director as we wanted him to hear the noise himself and tell us if he thinks we're being hypersensitive and unreasonable, but he agreed that it was excessive. We had put up with the noise from downstairs this long as we were wary of getting involved in the stress and bad feeling that comes from making another noise complaint. The other day when the director came down again to hear the noise my husband and I were so angry that yet another weekend was being ruined, so he suggested that he go down and speak to them as we probably weren't in the right frame of mind, which he did then do. After they had moaned about us banging on the floor, they did agree to try and keep the noise down, that was on sunday, so I guess it's still too early days to tell if it's had any long term effect.
Would it be at all possible for you to purchase a few more rugs, if carpeting over isn't an option? Our neighbour has laminate flooring and has 3 dogs. She has put rugs all over the place and I know that noise isn't a problem for the people below her.
It does seem that your neighbour is a bit too oversensitive and as you say hasn't adjusted her expectations of noise levels to living in a flat, and also it seems that your tenants have made reasonable provision for things that are in their control, your neighbour must have noticed some drop in noise levels. It is true that it could also be the different lifestyle that is part of the problem, I know that it is with ours. During the week, I find that I don't get so pee'd off with the noise as i'm away from it whilst at work, but weekends are a nightmare. The woman upstairs does not work and only leaves the flat in the company of her husband on a few weekends, therefore she is banging around up there all day every day. On the one occasion that I have been unfortunate enough to be off work sick I actually went back to work before I was really well enough, as I couldn't take the noise anymore. I am also finding that I don't want to take any annual leave if it means I'll be stuck in the flat during the day!
It is a quagmire and it is very hard to sort out who is in the right in these sort of situations. Generally it seems that our management company are pretty good, although it will be interesting to see whether they can actually DO anything or if it is all hot air.
I'm glad that you're taking your responsibilities seriously, the world could do with a few more landlords like you. Perhaps if things do escalate it would be worth telling your neighbour that other people can actually hear the noise that she makes as well, and that playing a piano at 11 or 12 at night is not actually on.
Good luck!